Some Pasts Are Murky and Clouded
by Yardat sama
Summary: Shuichi and his sister had a dark secret when they grew up trying to leave it behind, but Shuichi never really left his dark secret. UPDATED! Chapter 14!
1. Talk

Author's Note: My first Gravitation Fic!  Plus it's been years since I last wrote a story; so sorry if the grammar or the personality of the characters is messed up.  I got inspiration for this story from the fanfic: Change of Destiny by Lady Jam.  I absolutely love that story!

Rating: R

Warnings: My writing…^_~, mentions of rape, sex, and drugs.

On with the story!

Pasts Are Murky and Clouded

By: Yardat Sama 

Shuichi closed his eyes moaning as he felt the other man kiss his neck as he pulled out.  Shuichi grimaced and looked away from the man as the man stood up and dressed, then before the man left he left a clump of money on the table near the door.  Shuichi only then started to cry. 

" I have to get up, Hiro will be wondering where I am."  He said lifting his battered body of the dinky bed.  As he dressed he took the money and finished putting on his shirt.  He walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, " I look like shit." He muttered.  Then he sighed as he began to rinse his hair and wash his face.

As he left the motel, he looked up at the sky, which had begun to rain leaving him soaked.  But he welcomed it, hoping that it would help him feel clean.

Seguchi Tohma walked along the sidewalk back to his car when he saw a flash of pink hair disappear into an alley, " Shindou-san? What's he doing here?"  He decided to investigate, by standing right by the alley opening.

" Where's my money?" A raspy voice said.

" Right here."  Shuichi handed the man about $500 in yen, and turned to leave, when the man grabbed his arm.

" Only 10,000 American dollars to go, then you'll be free."  Shuichi nodded and kept silent, " You know that if you don't pay you'll be hunted down and killed, right?"

" Hai." Shuichi whispered.  He continued walking and the man disappeared into a building.  Shuichi closed his eyes and started to cry silently.

" Shindou-san?" He gasped violently and whirled around to see Tohma standing there, a scowl on his normally smiling face.

" Seguchi-san!  What are you doing here?"

" I could ask you the same thing.  What were you doing with that man?" Shuichi looked away from him.

" Could I talk to you in private Seguchi-san?" Tohma nodded and he led the way back to his car leading Shuichi who had apprehension written all over his face.  Tohma glanced over his shoulder and saw Shuichi with his head down and saw a tear fall.

" Shindou-san, we're here." Then they both got in the car.  Shuichi looked out the window and closed his eyes.

Tohma watched from the corner of his eye as Shuichi looked out the window. And decided to speak up, " Alright Shindou-san, what is this all about?"  Shuichi looked at him as he drove, speaking in a very mature voice Tohma never heard before.

" My sister." Tohma nodded still not understanding, " When we were younger, we were left in this district, our biological parents abandoned us to the streets.  All this happened to me at the age of 8, she was 5."  Tohma's eyes widened at that information, he had never heard this before!

" Please wait Shindou-san till we get to my house to finis." Shuichi didn't protest and continued looking outside.  Throughout the car ride, they were silent.  Tohma was stealing glances at Shuichi and Shuichi was closing his eyes trying to prepare himself for the conversation with Tohma.  It took the ride ten minutes before Tohma drove into the parking complex of the apartment where he lived.

As Tohma let Shuichi inside his apartment, Shuichi let out a single word that amused Tohma, " Wow." 

Tohma all of a sudden scared Shuichi as he grabbed Shuichi's arm leading him to the couch, " Shindou-san, explain."  Shuichi sighed and sat down.

" After my sister and I were left on the streets, a man took us in and was going to use us in his schemes.  I was used, while my sister was beaten and molested." He took in a deep breath and looked at Tohma, " When I reached the age of twelve, I was violently raped, while my sister was forced to watch.  That's why Aizawa-san didn't really affect me afterwards!  I was used to it already." Shuichi started to sob as he continued talking to the now horrified Tohma, " When…I saw my sister one day underneath a man I grew angry and ashamed!  I pleaded to the man that raised us to leave my sister alone and only use me, he refused at first, but finally after two times asking, he made me a deal."  Then Shuichi broke down and wrapped his arms around his legs.

Tohma took off his trademark coat and wrapped his arms around Shuichi who clung to him and buried his head in the crook of Tohma's neck, " Shuichi, that man in the alley, was that who raised you?" Tohma felt the pink head nod.

" He told me that he would sell my sister to me.  He said that since he raised us we owe him something back.  My sister's _price tag_," Shuichi spat, " Was more that 20,000 thousand American dollars."  Shuichi still clung to Tohma and rest his head on Tohma's chest as the blonde made soothing motions on his back, " I was twelve!  You think that a twelve year old would have that kind of money?!" Shuichi was getting hysterical as he explained more, " He said that I would have to sell my self to get the money! I became a whore at twelve! But after that no man ever laid a hand on my sister."

Tohma closed his eyes and felt a tear fall from his eye to land on Shuichi's head who was oblivious, " Shindou-san how did you get away?"  Shuichi shook his head.

" I never got away.  My sister did though.  I'm the only one trapped forever."

To be Continued…

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	2. Letting it out

Author's Note: Man it really has been a long time since I ever uploaded something! Now Fanfiction.net has a three-step thing.  I remember when it was a simple process! And I came up with one solution = Aiiiii I'M GETTING OLD!  

I'm tired now; a new update will probably be up in two days or so.

Rating: R

Warnings: Mentions of rape, sex, and drugs.

Pasts are Murky and Clouded

Chapter 2

Tohma looked at the sleeping teen that was on his couch and sighed tiredly.  Shuichi had gone on further to explain the horror he had gone through when he was little, and more about that deal that the person who raised him made.  Ever since the man had found out that that Shuichi was apart of Bad Luck, the man made the terms even harsher.  Shuichi couldn't use any money from what he got to pay off the man, the man wanted Shuichi to live in fear and pain it seemed.

And that made Tohma mad.  Shuichi also said that if he didn't pay the right way, his sister and him would be killed.  But it seemed that Eiri-san had made his way on to that list by being Shuichi's lover.

And that made Tohma pissed off, but he couldn't do anything.  The man Shuichi said had people all over the city waiting; it took one single phone call to kill three people.  Tohma shook his head and walked to his room, he just knew that he wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.

It was morning and Shuichi was still asleep, but when Tohma woke up from his troubled sleep, he saw tearstains on Shuichi's face strangely making his heart clench in pain.  In the past he thought that it was strange, that Shuichi could go through that thing with Aizawa and still have a cheerful visage, and now he realized that it was all a mask and yet it wasn't.  He still couldn't understand it.  He decided to call K and tell him the news.

" No K-san Shindou-san won't be making it today, I've given him the week off."

"…"

" I know the lyrics are due soon, I'll personally help him with this."

"…"

" Hai, ja mata!" Then Tohma hung up and was startled when somebody hugged him from behind.

" Arigato Seguchi-san for everything." Tohma smiled and turned around to face Shuichi.

" Call me Tohma, Shindou-san."  Shuichi let out a bright smile.

" Then call me Shuichi, Tohma!" Then all of a sudden Shuichi's stomach rumbled, making Tohma laugh as he stepped into the kitchen.

" I'll make breakfast alright, just sit down on the couch and relax." Tohma said smiling.

" Don't I have to go to work?" Shuichi asked.

" No, I called K-san and told him your taking the week off." Tohma said.

" But I have to do those new lyrics!  If I don't K-san will kill me!" Shuichi said waving his hands around to emphasize his point.

" No he won't besides we still need to talk some more."  Shuichi just fell silent.

To be continued…

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	3. Deals and Yuki Eiri

Author's Note: I although I love the pairing of Tohma x Shuichi, I don't know about it that much.  I can't really do Tohma's personality that much, much less Shuichi's.  I might just stick with Yuki x Shuichi, but who knows I might just take a poll when it comes to that point.  But most of the chapters now are going to be about Tohma talking to Shuichi about his options on what he should do with the money problem. I'm just writing it as it goes at this point.

Rating: R

Warnings: Mentions of rape, sex, and Drugs, so go away all you little kiddies.

Disclaimer: I just remembered to do this thing.  I don't own Gravitation!  I never will, I'm not getting paid for this!  I think I made my point.

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 3

Shuichi watched his boss as he sat down after finishing his breakfast.  Tohma was wanting a lot of information on his past not that he minded since that Tohma could actually get him out of this mess.

" Shuichi, that man does he have a name?"  Shuichi shook his head sadly.

" I'm not sure.  All my life my sister and I were always made to call him 'Master' or 'Sir,' if we asked for his name, his guards would beat us harshly." Shuichi flinched as he said it.

" So the only way to pay off this man would be to have sex with people that would pay?" Tohma inquired.

" Yeah.  The way things are going now, I'll pay him off in my late twenties." The young man sighed sadly and laid his head on the table.  All of a sudden he felt a hand on his arm.

" That will not happen Shuichi." Tohma said vehemently, " Just to answer another question while we're at it, does Nakano-san know about this or Eiri-san?"

Shuichi shook his head, " I couldn't risk it.  I never told Hiro about my true past and I never told Yuki.  They're too protective, they might try to find the guy and end up dead." Tohma nodded.

" The only thing now is to figure out what to do now.  This man is apparently very dangerous, and since we don't know his name, we can't go to the police." He sighed, all of a sudden very tired. Then his mind had a little lightning strike, " Shuichi we might have to resort to extreme measures here." Shuichi looked at Tohma curiously.

" What do you mean…?"

" Ever seen that American movie 'Pretty Woman?'" Shuichi shook his head wondering where Tohma was going with this, " In that movie, a man let a prostitute stay with him for a week for 3 thousand dollars.  Maybe we could do that." Shuichi's eyebrows shot up in shock.

" But I'm with Yuki and you're married Tohma.  It wouldn't work." Tohma smiled his trademark smile and looked at Shuichi straight in the eye.

" It has to." Tohma paused and seemed to consider his next words, " I don't want you or Eiri-san to suffer longer than you two already have." Shuichi started to cry at that, with sobs racking his small body.  Tohma held his hand from across the table trying to give him a little strength.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" So you want to use him for a month?  I don't know, I'll be losing a lot of customers. " The man rasped while smoking a cigarette, making Tohma bristle in anger at his tone.

" Hai.  I'll pay anything for him." Tohma said meeting the man's cold ice-blue eyes.  Those eyes seemed to mock him and tried to intimidate him, but Tohma was used to stares like that and stared right back.

The man smiled cockily, " Five thousand American dollars." 

" I'll pay Ten thousand American dollars." The man's eyes widened.

" Why do you want to pay so much?" The man said suspiciously. Tohma only smiled.

" Like I said I'll pay anything for him.  You named a price; I gave you a price more than you expected.  So is it a deal or not?"  The man looked at the silent boy who was standing to the side.

" What do you say Shuichi?"

" I'll do whatever you say Master." Shuichi said in a toneless voice. 

The man raised his hand and brought it down on Shuichi's face knocking him to the floor.  Tohma's jaw clenched, " That's to learn your place boy.  If I ask you a question, you only nod.  You understand?" Shuichi nodded, staying on the floor. The man turned back to the frowning Tohma.

" It's a deal. I expect payment at the end of the month grunt." Then as the man turned around to walk back into the building he kicked Shuichi in the stomach, " I better not hear that you never used him in bed blondie.  I have my ways of knowing." Then he was gone.

" Shuichi daijoubu!?" Tohma said kneeling at Shuichi's side.  Shuichi nodded and stood up with Tohma's help.

" I'm fine.  He just caught me by surprise." Tohma still helped Shuichi back to his car and they left the rundown neighborhood.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" YUUUUKI!!" 

A man groaned from behind his computer as he heard his lover's yell throughout the apartment, " Baka." He stood and walked to the door to see a pink blur run straight at him toppling him to the floor as Shuichi hugged him.

Yuki growled and pushed him off, standing up to meet Tohma's amused face, " What do you want?" Tohma smiled.

" I brought Shindou-san home.  I found him last night so he stayed at my house last night." Yuki looked down at Shuichi who was looking at him with teary violet eyes that made his face soften.

" Where were you last night?"

" He got lost on his way home from work." Tohma then cursed himself for his lame excuse.  Yuki saw right through it.

" He may be a baka, but he's not that much of a baka to get lost on a route from work to here."  He looked suspiciously at the two men, " What happened?" He growled.

To be continued…

Buwhahahahaha, sorry but I had to end it there.  I'm kind of rushing it this chapter. My mother wanted me off.

In response to the reviews:

Hopemia: It _might_ be a Tohma x Shuichi but it depends; I'll let you know.  Yeah I know that bastard has to pay for what he's done, but it all comes full circle in the end.

Kit_suma: I'm updating, I'm updating.  Wait till next time.

Please review!!!


	4. This Changes Everything

Author's note: I was thinking about this story after I posted the last chapter and I still don't know who Shuichi is going to end up with!  Tohma or Yuki? Tohma or Yuki? Which one!?  My brother called me crazy because I was yelling in my pillow about my indecisiveness.

But now I'm asking for help!!!  There's going to be a lot of angst with Tohma having to sleep with Shuichi, but I'm not telling it all yet.

Rating: R

Warnings: Mentions of Rape, sex, and Drugs.  So go you little kiddies!  There is a lime or maybe a lemon! OMG I wrote a lemon?! Run for your lives!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation!! I never will.

Some Past are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 4

" What happened?" He growled out.

" Nothing happened Eiri-san.  Everything happened the way I said it." Tohma hoped that Yuki would just let it go, but the younger man had different ideas.

" Get out." Shuichi paled at Yuki's voice.

" Yuki please.  Nothing happened."

" Then tell me the truth!" He growled again making Shuichi take a step back knocking into Tohma, who pushed Shuichi gently to the side.

" Eiri-san…" Tohma said with a sad look on his face, " There is no truth.  We told you everything that happened."  Yuki went silent then, and then stared at the two of them, finally speaking a minute later.

" Get out of my house." He said.

" YUKI!" Shuichi cried out.

" Now!" Then Yuki pushed them none too gently out of the door and slammed it.  Shuichi broke down crying and Tohma sighed as he laid an arm over Shuichi's shoulders.

" Let's go Shindou-san." He had said 'Shindou-san' because he thought that Eiri might still be behind the door listening.  Then they walked away from Yuki's door, with Tohma helping Shuichi.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yuki heard them as they walked away and sighed.  Maybe nothing happened lie they said, but it seemed like to him that they were hiding something.  Shuichi seemed different, and so did Tohma.  ' Were they sleeping with each other?' he thought.  But it couldn't be!  Tohma didn't even like the baka, so why would he let Shuichi sleep over at his house?

" Damn." He muttered as he reached for a cigarette, " I need a beer." Then he walked into the kitchen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  Even though it was daytime still, in a neighborhood on the outskirts of Tokyo, it seemed like it was nighttime.  There was a man with a scowling face and permanent glaring eyes who sat behind a desk looking at two fidgeting men who were in front of him. 

" I want you two to keep an eye out on my property.  You know which one, that cocky blonde man.  If they don't even sleep with each other you report back to me.  Nobody makes a fool out of me you understand?"  The two men nodded and bowed as they left the room.

" Nobody makes a fool out of me."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Ne Tohma, we did the best thing right?"

" Yes Shuichi.  Eiri-san must not know about this.  Hopefully he never finds out about this after this is over." Tohma sighed as he sat down on his couch.  Shuichi sat next to him and leaned on Tohma's shoulder, making the older man stiffen.  Feeling it, Shuichi took his head off, and laid his head back on the couch.

" I'm sorry." Tohma looked at him in surprise.

" What for Shuichi?" Shuichi looked at him.

" For everything!  I'm the one that got you into this mess!"  Then Shuichi started to cry and pulled himself into a ball.  Tohma shook his head and uncurled Shuichi.  He held the crying musician on his lap and stroked the pink hair softly.

" It's not your fault Shuichi.  I got myself in this mess.  Remember? I made you tell me what was going, I thought of the idea, and I made the deal.  I'm doing this to help you Shuichi." Shuichi looked up at Tohma and murmured softly.

" I think I understand, but sometimes I had wished that I could Yuki, but I never did.  I didn't want to hurt him." Tohma closed his eyes and leaned his head on Shuichi's.

" I'll be alright Shuichi." Shuichi nodded and smiled making Tohma smile.  Then Shuichi shifted in Tohma's lap so that he was facing the blonde.  Tohma's eyes widened as Shuichi leaned in and softly kissed him.  As Shuichi pulled away Tohma groaned and pulled him back for another kiss.

Shuichi gasped as Tohma broke the kiss and started to kiss down his neck, making Shuichi moan softly spurring Tohma's actions.  Tohma unbuttoned Shuichi's shirt and slipped his hand underneath the material and traced the slim body that had straddled him.  Shuichi moaned loudly as Tohma kissed his way down to his chest and kissed his way back to Shuichi's face and still kissing the small man Tohma decided that a couch wouldn't do and stood up, and Shuichi wrapped his legs around his waist and Tohma led them to his bedroom never breaking the kiss.

As they entered the room, Tohma walked swiftly to the bed and laid Shuichi down and took off his own shirt.

" Shuichi, are you sure you want to do this now?"  Shuichi knelt on his knees and looked up at Tohma.

" Hai Tohma."

 Then Tohma cried out loudly, " Shuichi…oh god!" as Shuichi unbuttoned his pants and slid those slim fingers in to grasp his hardening member, Shuichi stroked the throbbing flesh emitting moans and gasps from the blonde man as Tohma knelt also on the bed and pushed Shuichi down and laid atop of him making him stop his actions.

Tohma then swiftly took off the jeans and boxers Shuichi wore and the pink singer was laid bare to his gaze, making Shuichi blush furiously as Tohma chucked and then took off his own boxers leaving them both naked.

For the first time in a long time Shuichi was nervous as Tohma looked down at him and smiled a genuine smile and ran his fingers through Shuichi's hair, and kissed him softly as he started to prepare Shuichi.

Shuichi cried out as he felt the first finger start to prepare him, then the second, and then the third.  Tohma then pumped his fingers into Shuichi.  The pink haired man cried out and moaned as those fingers pumped in him.  He cried out in protest then went quiet as the fingers left him to be replaced by a far more solid member.

" Tohma!" He cried out as the blonde man slid in and then stopped.

" Am I hurting you?" Tohma gasped his body not wanting to stop.

" Iie! Onegai…don't stop…uhhhh!" 

Tohma grunted and thrust himself to the hilt earning a scream from Shuichi.  He made a few thrusting motions before they both found their rhythm.

Tohma felt his end coming and thrust faster and moaned louder as Shuichi moaned each time they joined and then threw his head back in ecstasy as his climax finally hit, Tohma joining him soon after filing Shuichi and grasped him tightly to his chest.

" Are you alright?" He panted.

Shuichi only nodded as Tohma pulled out and fell down besides his young lover.  Shuichi turned to face him and hugged him tightly.

" Arigato Tohma." 

" You're welcome Shuichi." Then Tohma fell asleep tired.  But Shuichi was still awake and looked up at Tohma whose face was sweaty and peaceful.

" I'm sorry Yuki for what I did." Then Shuichi cried softly hiding his face in Tohma's chest, " I'm sorry."

His sobs continued for a long time into the night.

To be continued….

0_0  I did that?  I wrote a lemon?  I usually just imagine them in my head…I revealed too much.  Sometimes I wonder if this is the ever Tohma x Shuichi lemon out there in the internet.  Oh well I think I myself did well, it is my first one in writing.

Yay!  Review!

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	5. Finding out

Author's note:  Gomen nasai minna for not writing earlier, but things came up in my _real_ life.  Well some people want Tohma x Shuichi, and others want Yuki x Shuichi, I'm still undecided, but I'm leaning towards Tohma x Shuichi; because I mean there's hardly any out there and there's probably thousands of Yuki x Shuichi.  But I'll decide that later! Muhahahahaha

Rating: R

Warning: Mentions of Rape, sex, and drugs. Yuki is OOC in this chapter.  So go away little kiddies.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation and I never will.

Some Past are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 5

Yuki sighed as he walked down a hallway, " Why am I doing this?" He asked himself, " I kicked him out." Yuki just shook his head and knocked on a door.

Nobody answered.  

Yuki knocked harder.

Still no response from inside.

" Wake up Tohma!" he yelled at the door.  He stood there for a minute, before smacking himself in the head he has a key dammit!  Yuki mentally thanked Tohma for once and opened the door letting him self in.

It was dark and quiet in the large apartment as walked through it looking for his lover and his brother-in-law.  Only he didn't expect to find them in the same room.

" WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"  The two figures shot up and stared at Yuki.

" Eiri-san!" Tohma yelled in surprise, while Shuichi just looked away from Yuki's face.

" You sicken me." Yuki spat as he turned and walked out of the room.

" Wait! Eiri-san!" Tohma yelled just as the front door slammed.  Shuichi sighed and laid a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

" It's better this way Tohma.  Yuki won't be in that much danger anymore."

Tohma looked at Shuichi and sighed also, " It is isn't it." He said resigned at the matter.

" Hai, Master I hope won't try to kill him anymore." Shuichi noticed that Tohma flinched, " Ne Tohma, what's wrong."

" Besides everything?" He said dryly.

" Yeah besides everything."

" You shouldn't call that man 'Master.' It's demeaning." Shuichi lay back down on the bed and traced the contours of Tohma's back, making the blonde shiver.

" I'm just used to it you know.  I've lived all my life calling him master, I don't know what to call him."  Tohma frowned and lay down next to him.

" How about bastard? Or asshole?"

Shuichi blinked and chuckled, " No, not likely Tohma.  That something Yuki would-" Shuichi cut himself off and went silent.  Tohma glanced at Shuichi from the corner of his eye.

" You really love Eiri-san don't you?"

Shuichi nodded and turned to face Tohma, " I told him everyday in the morning and after I came home from work.  And now I be able to." Shuichi's eyes stared to water and before he started to cry, Tohma gather the singer in his arms and allowed him to cry as he clutched at Tohma desperately.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" So…what happened?"

" They did the deed sir."

The man nodded as he took a little pack of aluminum and opened it revealing white powder, " I guess that Blondie was telling the truth." He said sniffing the powder.

" Yes sir." The second man replied.

" You may leave." The two men bowed and left the room, " Ten thousand American dollars." He muttered as he used a straw to sniff the cocaine.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Man Shuichi, where are you?" Hiro said taking out his cell phone to call his best friend.

" Hi! This is Shuichi! Leave a name and number and I think that's about it." Hiro swore that he heard a voice in the background say, " Baka, don't even know how to say a message."  Hiro rolled his eyes.

" Oi Shuichi, I've been trying to call you for a while, call me back okay?"

To be continued…

Sorry for the little chapter, but it was all I could think up after a week thinking.  I mean, Tohma x Shuichi is the hardest pairing to write, plus with Shuichi's indecision made it even harder.

:: Gasps::  Plus I got Hiro involved now!  What will happen now?  I wonder that myself.  Stay tuned! Muahahahahahahaha

Review!

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	6. A New Foe

Author's Note: I'm finally back and writing!  No damn cold is going to hold me back in writing!  So anyway, the plot thickens in this chapter…

Somebody is after Shuichi who is much more crueler and evil, than his 'Master.'  Well Let the story continue!  Some lines are used in the manga my friend let me borrow.

Rating: R

Warning: Mentions of Rape, sex, and drugs.  So go away all you little kids!!

Some Past are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 6

It's been a week since Tohma and Shuichi had last seen Yuki and now their back at NG Productions for work.  The past week, the President and the singer spent most of the time indoors and in each other's company.  Since Shuichi was kicked out of Yuki's apartment for apparent reasons, Tohma let Shuichi stay with him.

As they walked into the building, Shuichi was chatting with the ever-smiling Tohma, as they reached the elevator, nobody dared to step on.  Shuichi pressed a button different than Tohma and leaned against the wall. " Shuichi, come up to my office at lunch, we'll go out." Tohma said readjusting his coat.

Shuichi smiled, " Hai Toohhhma. I'll be there!" he said just as the elevator stopped for his floor, " See-ya later!" Shuichi waved and Tohma smiled genuinely as the doors shut.

As he made his way to the recording studio Bad Luck was using, Shuichi sighed as he thought, " Sometimes I wish that this had never happened."  Right as he opened the door a tall dark looming shadow appeared and shoved a gun in his face.

" Where have you been?" The gun-happy-wielding-American growled out.

" I've been with Seguchi-san." Shuichi replied nervously as he remembered a conversation e and Tohma had had in the morning, " And I thought that Seguchi-san called you and told you I was taking the week off."

K stopped and peered down at Shuichi through his blonde locks.

" Then I suppose you have the lyrics?" Shuichi nodded and took out of his pocket a folded piece of paper gave it to K. 

Shuichi sighed; he and Tohma had worked on those lyrics all week, and with Tohma's help proved to be sufficient.  Shuichi smiled softly as he remembered that Tohma was so unlike how Yuki said a long time ago, "'…Let me tell you, Seguchi may seem like a nice guy, but he's a shark….'"  Tohma didn't seem like a shark the whole week.

" Ohayo Fujisaki-san!"

The grumpy keyboarder nodded and mumbled, " Ohayo." Before turning back to his keyboard, as he felt himself get a headache.

Shuichi nodded when Sakano went into hysterics and panicked about how 'Sachou' was going fire them since if they didn't have the demo recorded in time.  Shuichi grinned to himself, he missed this.  Then he spotted Hiro.

" Ohayo Hiro!"

" Where have you been?" 

" Around." Shuichi said avoiding the question.  Hiro narrowed his eyes at Shuichi.

" Don't give me that bullshit!  You've been gone for a week, and I've been trying to call you for days!"  Shuichi saw in Hiro's eyes that Hiro was very worried.

Shuichi sighed and looked away, " I've been with Seguchi-san."

Hiro was surprised, " Why?"

" Sorry Hiro!" Shuichi laughed, " That's top secret!" Hiro rolled his eyes and laughed.

The first half of the day was pretty normal in Bad Luck standards, K shooting the wall a couple of times, Sakano going hysterical, Shuichi practically bouncing off the walls, Fujisaki calling Shuichi a baka, and telling him to settle down, and lastly Hiro who unusually was quiet and was silently contemplating his best friend.

" I'll see you after lunch Hiro!" Shuichi said just as he was leaving.

" Matte Shuichi!" Hiro ran after his friend and stopped him, " Where are you going?"

Shuichi smiled, " Just going to see Seguchi-san, he's taking me out for lunch."

" What with Seguchi now, you've been staying at his home, and now he's taking you out to lunch?!  What happened to Yuki?"  Shuichi's face became pained.

" I thought you'd be happy I left Yuki."

" Wait a sec! You left Yuki?!" Shuichi nodded, then glanced at his watch.

" I have to go Hiro." Then he left.

Hiro narrowed his eyes, " He's not telling me the truth."

Shuichi knocked on Tohma's door and opened the door to a dark office and stepped inside, " Tohma?"  He walked further inside, " Tohma are you in here?"

" Shuichi?" a voice to his left whispered, " Is that you?"

Shuichi smiled as he saw Tohma laying down on the black couch, " Hai Tohma.  Come on, it's lunch time." 

Tohma warily sat up and yawned.

" Oi Tohma, I didn't know you where tired." Tohma glanced at him from the corner of his eye and smiled wickedly.

" I didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" Shuichi's cheeks became inflamed as he remembered exactly _what_ happened last night which involved not sleeping.

It had been their third time sleeping together and Shuichi still whispered brokenly  after, " I'm sorry," to Yuki.  He hoped that Yuki would still love him after this was all done, but even to Shuichi he thought it was unlikely.  When Yuki had seen them after their first night, Shuichi had seen something in the writer's eyes that spoke of his hurt and anguish, it broke his heart and he had to look away.  Shuichi sometimes wondered how Tohma must feel.

" Shuichi let's go." 

Shuichi looked at Tohma to see that he had put on his coat and waiting by the door.  Shuichi nodded, then stopped the blonde, " Arigato Tohma."

" What for?" Tohma asked puzzled.

" For everything." Then to Tohma's surprise, Shuichi hugged him tightly.  Tohma smiled and tightened the embrace.

" Everything is fine Shuichi."

The singer smiled sadly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Hello?"

" It's me.  I want my usual." The voice on the phone was dark and deep.

" He's been bought for a month, sir." Shuichi's master said.

The voice growled lowly, " I don't care!  You find a way to get him for me or else your body will be found in the ocean."

" The man is to pay me ten thousand American dollars sir, it's out of my hands Yamaguchi-san"

" Wrong Answer.  I'll get him my self."  Then the phone went dead.

The man sighed, " The brat is going to be hurt." He whispered while remembering the time Shuichi came back after a session with Yamaguchi.  His body and face were covered in bruises and his back was bruised in which Shuichi couldn't walk for a month.  Yamaguchi was more horrible than him and he knew it.  Shuichi was unable to take any clients for months after a session with Yamaguchi.  Even he pitied Shuichi.  

He picked up the phone.

" Hello."

"…"

" Yes, I need to speak to my little slave."

"…"

" Bring him to me."

Then he hung up, " I'm going soft on the damn boy." He muttered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Boy." Shuichi came to a sudden stop at the voice.

" What do you want?" He asked afraid.  Tohma came up besides him and looked up at the two bulking figures.

" The master would like to speak with you.  Don't make a scene.  You may come if you wish Blondie." 

Shuichi was hesitant and followed the men silently, Tohma following.

When they reached the rundown neighborhood, they drove to another building Shuichi recognized.  He nudged Tohma saying, " This is where me and my sister grew up at." He shuddered remembering the pain of being beaten everyday and night while protecting his sister.

" We're here." Then they got out of the car.

Tohma noticed the boarded up windows and doors.  The few windows that weren't boarded up had bar on them.  It was a very depressing and dark place.  Tohma looked sideways at Shuichi, how could the vibrant pink-haired singer be raised in this place?

He didn't have time to wonder.  They were entering the building.

To be continued…

I need help in deciding what to call Shuichi's 'Master.'  If you have any names you could give me, they would be very appreciated.

Ohhhh somebody is after Shuichi.  What's going to happen now?

Even I don't know.

Well Review, all comments need and they give me inspiration.

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	7. The Twisted Bastard

Author's Note: I'm very sorry for the delay in this update, but I had a very valid and very serious situation:  I lost the disk that had chapter 7 and the whole fic of 'Some Past are Murky and Clouded' written on it at school.  Did you hear at SCHOOL in one of my senior classes!!  

WITH A LEMON WRITTEN ON IT!!!

My life is over!  Well I told my friend about it and she laughed and said, "  How could you do a stupid thing like that?  What if a guy finds the disk and reads the story and is mentally scarred for life because he read a yaoi lemon?"  I cringed and laughed sheepishly.  But then the plus side was that I didn't have my real name written on it anywhere.  

So now I say, goodbye my disk, may I see you in the afterlife!

Rating: R

Warnings: Mentions of Rape, sex, and drugs.  So leave all you kiddies!!  Oh and one more thing, OOC Tohma in this chapter.

Some Past are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 7

" Brat." 

Shuichi stiffened at the raspy voice and turned around.

" Master." Shuichi said tonelessly and noticed that Tohma had flinched out of the corner of his eye at his word.

" I've called you here to warn you."  Tohma frowned and stepped forward to stop at Shuichi's back.

" Warn him from what?"  The man faced him with a mocking and pitying look, which made Tohma clench his jaw in anger.

" From a man name Yamaguchi.  He calls the brat, 'his doll,' and 'his usual' and is pretty much crazy, even I know that.  You know him brat.  The white haired man with freaky blue eyes that flash malevolently whenever they look at you.  The man with the hands that crippled you."  Shuichi stepped back and bumped into Tohma who noticed that Shuichi had gone pale and all life seem to go out from him.

The man noticed the reactions, " So you _do_ remember him."  Shuichi nodded silently unable to speak.

" He sounds terrible." Tohma said.

The man smiled grimly, " That's a serious understatement Seguchi-san.  The brat here, was covered in cuts and bruises whenever he came back from a session with Yamaguchi.  I thought that Yamaguchi tortured him on the last session the brat had with him."  The man leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Tohma frowned deeper, " You said that Yamaguchi crippled him."

" He did.  That crazy bastard gave the brat's back a serious bruise that affected his spine and he was unable to walk for a month."  The man looked at Tohma and at the still silent Shuichi, " So brat, I would watch out, he's coming after you, since I said that I wouldn't let him have you.  I told him that with you being bought for ten thousand American dollars, it's out of my hands.  He said that he'd get you himself, so watch out brat."

Shuichi nodded and leaned into Tohma, who wrapped an arm around him for support and they both stepped backwards.

" Leave.  These two will take you back to the place they picked you up at." Then the man turned and walked into a room and closed the door.

" Let's go Shuichi." Tohma said soothingly and they left the rundown building.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Shuichi are you alright?" Tohma asked the silent pink haired singer who was looking outside the window of the apartment.  They hadn't gone back to NG after they had been dropped off, Shuichi wouldn't have been able to practice and Tohma would not have been able to concentrate with Shuichi occupying his mind.  So they ended back in the apartment.

" Maybe I should leave." Shuichi suddenly said to the blonde's surprise and turned to leave when Tohma caught his wrist.

" No!" Tohma exclaimed loudly.  Shuichi looked at him shocked at his outburst and looked at him confusedly, " It's not safe out there with that Yamaguchi guy out there Shuichi!"

" That's just it!  It's not safe not for you and for anyone else who knows me Tohma!  This man is dangerous." Shuichi yelled furious.

" It doesn't matter!" Tohma said just as fierce.

" Yes, it does!  You'll get probably get hurt or someone else will get hurt because of this!  Somebody will probably even die!  I don't want you to die!"  Tohma grabbed Shuichi's shoulders in a firm and tight grip.

" You're not leaving this house Shuichi!  No matter how you feel about this man!  Even if I get hurt from this man, I will not let you leave now just so _you_ could probably be taken tonight and be used.  I refuse to let you be used!"  Tohma said pulling Shuichi in a tight hug.  Shuichi started to cry and buried his face in the crook of Tohma's neck.

Tohma sighed tiredly and buried his face in Shuichi's hair breathing in, and whispered.

" I won't let you go."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Hello you two."

" What the hell do you want Yamaguchi?" said one of the men that worked for Shuichi's 'master.' 

" Now, now.  No need to get all huffy, I just want to know where my little doll is at." Yamaguchi said smiling maliciously.  
  


The second man glared at Yamaguchi whose looks disturbed him.  The eyes that looked at you as if they're analyzing you and thinking that you were nothing but dirt.

" We don't know where any doll is Yamaguchi, try the toy down the street." 

The white haired man grinned showing more of his sick and twisted demeanor that laid beneath the skin, " Haru, is it?"

The second man now known as Haru growled, " What's it to you?"

" Don't you have a nice little girl that enjoys dolls?"

The first man grabbed Yamaguchi's arm roughly, " Don't fuck around with his daughter asshole." Yamaguchi's grin went a little wider.

" Ah, but I'm sure that his daughter would enjoy some of my company as a playmate."

Haru growled and punched Yamaguchi _hard_.

Yamaguchi fell to the ground and again smiled at them, even through the darkening bruise on his cheek, " If you just tell me where I can find my little at, I can assure you, no harm will come to your little daughter _Haru_." He said the name mockingly.

The first man growled again and moved to him again, but Haru grabbed his shoulder stopping the punch.

" No harm?" Haru questioned him, narrowing his eyes.

Yamaguchi smiled lightly, " No harm little Haru.  Just tell where my doll is."

" He's with Seguchi Tohma.  We don't know where he lives, but he works at NG Productions."  Haru put a little lie in his sentence about that he didn't know where Tohma lives, he didn't want to make to it easier for this bastard.  The white haired man looked at him.

" You don't know he lives?!"

" You asked, I gave you an answer, we don't know." Haru ground out forcefully.

" Well at least I know where my little doll is.  Thank you so much for your cooperation gentlemen." The first man spat in his direction, earning a curling of the lip from Yamaguchi, and Haru just glared.  Yamaguchi bowed mockingly and then turned and walked away.

Haru sighed and the first man turned away from him, " How the hell could you do that!  You fucking knows what happens to Shindou, you just fucked him over man!" He spat.

" It's either Shindou, or my little girl, and shit, I choose my girl."

" So a boy whose been tortured by that man, you condemn to death!?"

" Yes."  Then Haru turned and walked away.

" May Kami-sama have mercy on your soul you poor bastard."  Then for the first time in years, the two men were divided on a matter and left their separate ways.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

" Seguchi Tohma where do you live?" Yamaguchi said to himself while walking down the street.

Yamaguchi being the sick bastard he was, was already day dreaming about his little doll and what new _toys_ he wanted to play with.  His doll would find out that he was his only playmate, and no one else's.

Yamaguchi chuckled loudly scaring a mother with her child as he walked by.

" Oh yes, I will find you my little doll…

…Very soon."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bed sheets rustled as a person sat up and looked around the dark room before peering down at the serene figure who was still sleeping.

He sighed and started to stroke the soft hair, making the face twitch, " Tohma…" the figure murmured softly.

Tohma smiled slightly and laid a kiss on Shuichi's forehead.  The singer shifted and threw an arm over Tohma's torso.

" It'll be alright Shuichi, and it'll be over soon.  No more 'masters,' and no crazy bastards after you."  Tohma whispered, " I'll protect you."

Long after the blonde went back to sleep, Shuichi smiled, " I know you will Tohma, but I'll protect you as well."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Two weeks went by fast and to Tohma's relief, without incident.  But something was nagging at him the whole time.

  The feeling of being followed.

He felt like was somebody was watching him and Shuichi after they left NG, biding their time, but he saw nothing and nobody.  He didn't tell Shuichi about it in order not to worry him.  The threat of the man called Yamaguchi still loomed over their heads, especially Shuichi's.

But something happened one day that would haunt Tohma for years….

" Shindou-san, Sachou would like to speak with you." Sakano said one day, looking totally confused.

" Really?" Shuichi said looking confused himself.  He looked at the clock.  ' Why would Tohma send for him an hour before their usual meeting time.'  He thought.  He hesitated by the door.

" Go on Shuichi, before he gets mad." Hiro said perplexed at his friend's behavior.

" Alright." Shuichi said still hesitant.  Fujisaki finally looked up from his keyboard, and frowned.

Shuichi was weird he noticed.  Usually he jumps up and runs to Seguchi's office.  He noticed Shuichi kept glancing at the clock and he looked too.  Fujisaki frowned deeper.  It was an hour before Shuichi usually went to his cousin's office.  Something strange was going on.

" Shindou-san, I'll walk with you."  He offered.  Everyone looked at him, and he blushed at the attention.

" Okay, let go Fujisaki-san!" Shuichi then practically flew out the door, Suguru following.

The two were walking down the semi-dark hallway to the elevator when it happened.

The next thing Suguru knew, he was on the floor clutching his head in extreme pain.  He looked up and spotted a man with white hair and flashing blue eyes.

" Get away from me!"  Suguru still in his daze could still Shuichi's frightened voice.

" Come with me little doll and he won't get hurt."

" Leave Suguru alone you bastard!"

A hand connected with Shuichi's face and he landed on the floor next to Suguru.

" Don't talk back to me you little whore, I own you." Yamaguchi snarled.  Shuichi defiantly stood up.

" You don't own me, no own does, not even my old 'master!'" Suguru blinked confusedly, ' Shuichi has a master?' he thought.

The white haired man snarled violently and grabbed Shuichi's arm trying to drag him away, and on his way to out Yamaguchi kicked Suguru in the ribs, making the keyboardist groan in pain.

" Stop it!  Alright, I'll come with you." Suguru groaned trying to Shuichi not to go, but he was in too much pain.  That man might have broken a rib, " Let me just say goodbye ."

" Hurry up." 

Suguru felt Shuichi put a hand on his cheek, and whispered in his ear, " Tell Tohma what happened.  Tell him Yamaguchi took me.  And tell him I love him."

Suguru whimpered and tried to clutch at Shuichi, nut Shuichi stood up and walked away, with Yamaguchi's possessive hand on his back.

" Shin..dou." Suguru gasped.

He didn't know how long he laid there, but he had to get up!  He struggled and finally sat up against the wall, and held his ribs in pain.  He gasped and struggled to stand now.  He had to get to Seguchi!  He finally stood up on wobbly legs and leaned against the wall trying to breath, he ribs hurt like hell!

Suguru pushed himself off the wall and tried to balance.  He looked at his watch and noticed it had been thirty minutes since he left the studio.  He had to hurry!

Twenty minutes later, stumbled past Tohma's secretary and burst through the doors startling the blonde as he looked up from his charts and papers.

" Suguru!" Tohma exclaimed surprised, just as Suguru started to fall.  Tohma jumped up and ran to the fallen teen, " Suguru what happened?!"  Tohma picked up the teen, earning a whimper from Suguru, and laid him on his couch, and shut the door.

" Shin…dou-san," Suguru gasped trying to ignore the burning pain in his chest as he looked up at his cousin, " He was…taken."

" Shuichi?!  Suguru he was taken?" Tohma said feeling his heart clench.

Suguru nodded, " He told me to tell you that Yamagu..chi took him and…that he loves you…" Suguru gasped out the last word and finally succumbed to darkness.

Tohma shook him, " Suguru!  Suguru! Shit!" Tohma whipped out his cell phone and dialed a number.

" Hello?" a voice answered.

" K-san!  Hurry to my office, something has happened!"

" What happened?"

" Just get up here!" Then Tohma hung up and waited, silently stroking the boy's dark green hair.  He hoped Shuichi was alright, but he doubted it if Yamaguchi took him.  Tohma put his head down and prayed silently to Kami-sama for Shuichi.

To be continued…

I'm finally done with Chapter 7!  Yay!  Go me!  Reviews are welcomed.

I love people's reviews.  They give me inspiration!  So review people!

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	8. Pained

Author's Note: Gomen Nasai. I have been banned from the computer from my mother even though I'm old enough that she can't tell me what to do. :-P Well anyways, back to the story I forgot much of the plot of.   
  
Rating: R  
  
Warnings: Mentions of Rape, Sex, and Drugs. So Leave little one's before you have nightmares!!!  
  
Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded  
  
By Yardat Sama  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Suguru...  
  
Why did he hear Shindou-san's voice?  
  
Suguru wake up now. Tohma is nearby, tell him what happened.  
  
Tohma was startled when Suguru gasped and shot up only to collapse back on the hospital bed, " Fujisaki-san!"  
  
Suguru shook his head and looked around as if looking for something when finally the younger man's eye's landed on him, " Where is Shindou-san?" Suguru gasped, his throat feeling a bit dry.  
  
" He's gone." Tohma's face drew on a pained look that made Suguru cringe and look down at the bed, " What happened Fujisaki-san?"  
  
" A man, with white hair and flashing blue eyes. He looked pure evil, and I'm not kidding." Tohma sighed and looked away from Suguru's inquiring eyes.  
  
" His name is Yamaguchi. And he has a history with Shindou-san that borders on the paths of obsession, pain, and lust. Shindou-san wouldn't want me to reveal it to you without his permission so I cannot say anything more."  
  
" DAMMIT TOHMA! Just tell me already!!!" Suguru yelled then grimaced in pain as his ribs tightened. He sat back and let his head fall on the pillow.  
  
" I'm sorry Fujisaki. But I cannot."

* * *

Shuichi let out a pained whimper as he felt blood trickling down his forehead to fall on the floor from where he was tied up, feet barely touching the floor.   
  
Basically he was bleeding everywhere, on every part of his body. He felt numb and delirious from all the blood loss. Yamaguchi was smirking in the corner admiring his masterpiece that didn't even struggle anymore.  
  
" Had enough my little doll?" Shuichi didn't answer, " I said ' DID YOU HAVE ENOUGH!!'" Yamaguchi said storming up to Shuichi to scream in his face. Shuichi looked at him blankly.  
  
Yamaguchi slammed his fist in Shuichi's stomach so hard Shuichi spat blood on the floor.  
  
" Hai.." Shuichi whispered harshly just as Yamaguchi slammed his lips on the bloody ones of Shuichi. Shuichi didn't care anymore, he was imagining Tohma as he slipped from consciousness.  
  
Tohma...Koi...help me...  
  
To be Continued...   
  
Sorry it was short, but I had to get that out of my mind. I'll update when I can.  
  
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	9. In All Matters Of Opinion Our Adversarie...

Author's Note:  I'm Back!  Well not officially on my account, I'm just back for this update and the one more to follow a couple of days after this one.  Well my muse took the last bus to La La Land, so I was left behind to finish this on my own.    But I'm wondering if someone could me with 's quick edit thing.  It wasn't there four to five years ago.  Geez I'm old.  Well I'll stop my rambling and let you enjoy the story.

**OKTfan:**_  You'll find out later to see if I let Shuichi live ::Grins Evilly::   But thanks for the review ::Hugs:: It gave me hope that people actually enjoy my story._

**Chels-Dawg: **_Alright Dammit I'm updating, I'm updating!  SOO MUCH PRESSURE!!  I hope I'm not letting you down with this chapter.  Thanks for the review ::Hugs::_

**Lynne: **_Thanks for the review, and finally I'm updating. ::Hugs::_

Rating: R

Warnings:  Mentions of Rape, Sex, and Drugs.  So leave if your not old enough to read this.

Some Past are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 9

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

**_Bertrand Russell _****(1872 - 1970), Unpopular Essays (1950), "Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"**

" Get the hell out of my house."

" Please Eiri-san I must talk with you!" Tohma pleaded.  In Tohma's mind he hoped that Eiri would at least listen to what he has to say.

" There's nothing to talk about you ass." The other blonde growled as he attempted to shut the door, when Tohma's foot slipped in stopping him from shutting it.

" It's about Shuichi, Eiri-san." Eiri stopped and peered down at Tohma and opened the door a bit more.

" Speak."  Tohma sighed and put his head down.

" Shuichi has been kidnapped, Eiri-san."  Just then Yuki felt a cold fear run a shudder down his back at Tohma's words.

" You're lying." He stated simply.  Tohma's eyes held a pain and looked up to look in Yuki's eyes.

" I'm not Eiri-san.  He was taken two days ago from the NG building--"

" Where the hell was your damn security you little fucker!!  This is all your fault!"  Yuki yelled in Tohma's face who didn't back down.  He did not fear Eiri-san.

" Could we speak inside?"  Yuki glowered at the smaller man but let him in.  Tohma sat on the couch and Yuki sat on the other side, " Let me explain everything.  I'm sure Shindou would have wanted to tell you everything, and normally I wouldn't say this without his consent but anyway.  Shuichi and his sister Maiko were left abandoned on the streets of the more bad side of Tokyo, why I don't know, but a man took them in.  He told me that at the age of twelve he was violently raped as his sister was forced to watch.

"  He said that's why Aizawa didn't affect him as much, because he was used to it.  When he saw his sister being raped, he was angry and ashamed, and pleaded to the man that raised them to leave his sister alone and for him to only be used," Tohma put his back to hide a tear, " The man made a deal with Shuichi and sold his sister to him for twenty thousand dollars. Shindou was only twelve Eiri-san.  The man whored him out to men and Shindou paid off his debt that way."

" You mean Shuichi has been used all this time?  Why the fuck didn't he tell me!!" Yuki raged as he stood from the couch.

" He didn't want you to ashamed of him. To hate him.  But anyway I'm not finished." Yuki sat heavily back down on the couch, " I found him on the streets giving man money and I later asked him about it.  He broke down and told me everything.  Later I told him that I would pay off the last ten thousand he had left.  I met with the person who told Shindou to call him 'Master,' and told that I buy Shindou for ten thousand dollars, but the man said that I to sleep with Shindou in order to make the deal.  I agreed.  And that's why you found us in my bed.  I heard from Shindou that that man sends out his goons to make sure that Shindou is indeed being used.

" Only later did I find out about Yamaguchi.  He's a cruel and evil man who tortured Shindou in horrible ways.  He temporarily paralyzed Shindou Eiri-san.  He believes that Shindou his plaything, a toy if you will.  I fear this time Shuichi will finally shatter."  Tohma finally broke down and started to cry.

" He won't." Yuki said, " That baka will never break." He grinned with remorse and turned his head away, shedding tears of his own.

---------------

" Hello Doll."

A groan.

" Did you enjoy your playtime?" Shuichi didn't answer, " Well I'll remedy that.  I'll make sure you enjoy this." His eyes took on a more frenzied look and flipped a switch that made water fall on Shuichi as Yamaguchi touched him with an electric shock thing covered by a sponge.

Shuichi screamed horrifically as his violet snapped open and spasm violently as his arms shuddered, almost torn out of their sockets as his feet couldn't reach the floor.

Yamaguchi smiled and started to stroke himself as his continued to shock Shuichi getting off on Shuichi's evident pain.

Shuichi couldn't scream anymore as he had screamed himself hoarse, just as Yamaguchi shuddered in release and sprayed his fluids on the barely conscious Shuichi.

Finally Shuichi's eyes rolled to the back of his head and fell unconscious, and he welcomed it with open arms.  Yamaguchi licked his own release off of the half dead young man and shuddered with pleasure.

" Oh my doll."

----------------

" We're doing all we can Seguchi-sama to locate Shindou-san.  But we've found nothing so far." Tohma sighed.

" Thank you for your help Inspector."

" Your welcome." Then Tohma hung up.

" Hallo Seguchi-san." A voice said in front of his desk.  Tohma looked at the man and recognized him.

" You!"

" Haru at your service."

" What do you want?" Tohma said tiredly.

Haru sat in a chair and sighed, " To forgive myself.  I told Yamaguchi where he could find Shindou.  I had to, that bloody bastard threatened my daughter.  Said that he would play with her a bit unless I told him.  Bloody scared of him, freaky eyes I say.  In  other words Seguchi-san.  I can help locate Shindou."

Tohma stared in shock.

--------------

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

**_Mark Twain_**** (1835 - 1910), in Christian Science**

**----------------**

Shuichi awoke to his hell once more and realized his was not strung up anymore but laying on a cold floor.

" Well my Doll, I've had enough fun, let's get on to the better stuff." Yamaguchi's eyes glinted a dangerous and insane blue and Shuichi bit his lip knowing what Yamaguchi was going to do as he flipped on his stomach and hips lifted off the floor.

_TOHMA!!!  YUKI!!!!_

To Be Continued…

I am evil.  I hope you enjoyed that with all the torture.  Well to admit I was bit freaked I could write like this.  All depressing.

Well  Please Review.

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	10. Thoughts and The Video

* * *

Author's Note: So sorry that I haven't been writing in a while. School is a distraction nowadays, I mean who goes to High School if you only have three periods?! Nothing left to say other than the fact I'm still not sure whom I should pair Shuichi with?

Who shall it be?

Yuki or Tohma?

You choose.

I'm waiting.

Rating: R

Warnings: Mentions of Rape, Sex, and Drugs, so run little kids!

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 10

* * *

"_Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome_."

- **_Isaac Asimov_** (1920 – 1992)

* * *

Shuichi awoke feeling like he had been run over by some crazy American who can't drive on the correct lane in Japan. He chuckled in his mind and tried to look around. The pain was getting to him as he moved his head looking….

_Looking for something that wasn't there…_

_Or…_

_Someone…_

_Tohma…Yuki…_

_Where are you?_

He didn't notice the camera that was recording his every move and that it had been recording for the entire time he was there.

* * *

Tohma all of a sudden felt his heart clench as he stared at a magazine that showed Bad Luck at a concert some two months ago. Shuichi looked so vibrant, so alive, that he would have never guessed what went on behind the scenes in the pink-haired singer's life. Suddenly all of Shuichi's smiles that he remembered in the past didn't seem so alive anymore.

No…

Everything changed…

But sometimes he wondered what would have happen if he didn't bump into Shuichi that day. The day, that changed his entire outlook on Shuichi's life. He had promised Shuichi that he would never let him go, and now he had broken that promise.

Because that bastard, Yamaguchi had him. That white-haired fucking freak, he seethed silently.

With Haru's help he could find Yamaguchi. He would find Shuichi.

* * *

"_Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction_."

**- _Aesop _**(620 B.C. – 560 B.C.) _The Frog and the Ox_

* * *

Yuki sighed as he looked at his lighter. The lighter that had that picture of Shuichi and him. He had never let Shuichi explain why he had slept with Tohma. It never really occurred to him why he let it affect him so much.

He had always thrown the younger man's love completely out the door. Shuichi saying 'I love you' went in one ear and out the other. But in seeing Shuichi with Tohma of all people left him a cold rage and a deep pain that felt like he was getting punched in the stomach.

It confused him.

Did he really love that stupid baka?

And if he did, then why did he kept pushing him away, confident in the knowledge that Shuichi would keep coming back.

But now it scared him.

Would Shuichi come back?

_Ever?_

* * *

" _Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry_."

- **_Henry Ward Beecher _**(1813 – 1887)

* * *

K frowned when he looked at Tohma who stared calmly back at him, " Why wasn't I informed about his disappearance?"

" Shindou-san kidnapping is only known to you, myself, Eiri-san, and Fujisaki-san at this moment, not even the Press know K-san, and I hope that it will remain that way. The less people that know the better. I didn't even bring Hiroshi-san into this."

" So in other words, you're trusting me." K said bluntly.

" Yes."

" So what happened?"

Tohma sighed, briefly showing that deep down he was tired. So deeply tired that he wanted to fall asleep at the moment, " A little less than a week ago, Shindou-san was abducted from this very building by a psychotic madman named, Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi is from Shuichi past from what I know," Tohma said, using a little white lie in the process, " But now, we have no leads, not even the Police have found anything when they were here."

" Do we know the exact spot Shuichi was taken from and Suguru was attacked?"

" Someplace near the elevator on the floor Bad Luck uses for their practices. Suguru said that all he could remember at the moment was that he spoke to Shindou-san and saw flashing blue eyes that Shuichi had described to me before."

There was a knock on the door.

" Come in."

" Sir, this package arrived for you." Tohma's secretary left a padded package on his desk and left, not even glancing at K.

Tohma opened it and saw a videotape. No label, or any kind of markings. He stood up and walked over to his TV and put the tape in.

Immediately a white haired man was shown who smirked at the camera with such evilness that even K stepped back from the TV, " Greeting Seguchi-_sama_," Yamaguchi mocked, " I hope you enjoy my home video of my precious doll. He tastes oh so good." He chuckled and the scene changed.

Five minutes into the video, Tohma slammed 'off' on the remote as ran to vomit in his private restroom. K looked sickened, and when Tohma came back into the room, he could hear K grit his teeth in anger.

" I'm going to kill that fucking bastard." K growled.

To Be Continued…

* * *

Sorry chapter 10 was short, but I had to get this out. Maybe I'll write more this week or next.

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	11. Hope is Fragile

Author's Note: So sorry for not updating, but real life went and bit me in the ass. I hate school…

Well anyway it would be much appreciated if I got some comments on how to improve my story. I'm running out of ideas, and as of right now, my muse went and took a train to the sections of Naruto and Tennis no Ohjisama. Oh the possibilities!

Yamaguchi I admit is one sick bastard, even I don't know how I developed him like this.

Well anyways on with the story!

Rating: R

Warnings: Sex, rape, and drugs!!!

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 11

--

"_Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent._"

- **_Isaac Asimov_** (1920 – 1992), **_Salvin Hardin in "Foundation"_**

--

Haru stared at his whiskey glass, not looking at anything in particular as he pictured what Shindou might be looking at right now. Was he in a dank dark place screaming as that bastard Yamaguchi tortured him again and again.

He knew it was mistake in the first place to tell Yamaguchi about the whereabouts of Shindou, but it couldn't be helped. That sick fuck would have done something to his little girl who was now playing in the other room. But now he thought, why did he follow that man? That man that said that had called himself Shindou's 'master.'

Now that he thought about it he didn't know the answer. And now he was sick of the things he did, beating a twelve year old who only wanted to save his sister, beating all defiance out of the boy, until he agreed to everything his 'master' told him to do. But he saw that that defiance had come back, and he couldn't have been happier.

But now all of the 'what ifs' came and made themselves known, like what if he had called the police when the kid was still younger. What if the boy had never made that deal with his 'master?' So on and so on.

" Daddy?" A voice startled him out of his thinking.

" Yes?"

" What do you do for a job? I mean the kids at school today were telling everybody what they're dads did. Like Kawamura-san was saying that his dad worked at their Sushi shop."

He smiled sadly at his innocent little girl, _innocent _he thought that's what Shindou should've have been, " I'll tell you when you're older dear."

She pouted, but smiled and hugged him then she ran out of the room.

He looked at the phone next to him and picked it up dialing a number.

It rang a few times before it was picked up, " Moshi moshi?"

" Fuji…"

" What do you want Haru?" the other voice snarled out.

" Please I need to apologize to you Fuji, and I need your help about Shindou."

--

" _Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?_"

- **_George Price_**

--

Yamaguchi smiled as he watched his little doll start to rock himself back and forth shaking his head. Oh it was so much fun doing that to his doll. The way he screamed, the way he weakly fought back as he pounded into his writhing body, the way he shivered, and the way he aroused him so. It was like nothing he had ever experience in his life. Oh yes…Yamaguchi thought as he put his hand on his growing erection and just watched his little doll.

It felt so good.

--

" _I'd rather get my brains blown out in the wild then wait in terror at the slaughterhouse._"

- **_Craig Volk_**, Northern Exposure, A-Hunting We Will Go

--

Shuichi looked up at the ceiling, knowing that this time around Yamaguchi wasn't going to let him go. He'll never sing again, never see Tohma, Yuki, Hiro, Suguru, his precious sister, K, Sakano, and hell he'll even miss Mika!

But right now, all he could think about was ways to kill himself. He can't take Yamaguchi's torture anymore. It was killing him slowly each time he was violated, each time Yamaguchi looked into his eyes like he was speaking to him, saying that he was going to die this time. Shuichi curled into a ball as Yamaguchi's words rang in his head, " _Nobody will have my little doll._" He wished…

The metal door opened and a dark foreboding figure stood in the doorway as Shuichi took a look upwards into the face of his very worst nightmare and saw Yamaguchi holding a pipe.

" Ah my little doll, ready for your next lesson?" Shuichi steeled himself and did something incredibly stupid or incredibly smart.

He slammed his heel into a place every man was venerable, and grabbed the pipe Yamaguchi dropped slamming it into the white haired man's head and ran out the door not caring that he was naked and bleeding. He looked around panting looking for the way out when he spotted a door and ran towards it. But it was locked. He spotted a window in this warehouse and climbed up the boxes and saw the city outside.

Shuichi considered his options and decided he broke through the glass as he jumped out the window, not feeling the cuts and abrasions from the glass as they cut through his body.

He landed in a dumpster he felt was gift from the gods as it was full of boxes, he hurriedly climbed out of it and ran the fastest he's ever had to in his entire life. He ran to a phone booth and phoned the police, and the fire department, saying that he didn't know where he was, and that he was Shindou Shuichi from Bad Luck who was kidnapped from NG Studios.

He told them that he would call back, and he ran farther away from the warehouse that held Yamaguchi and he now ran on pure adrenaline pumping his veins as he felt himself run away from the white haired psycho.

Shuichi finally spotted an open super market and ran in crying and the startled employees ran to get their manager, where finally Shuichi blacked out.

--

" _Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with_."

****- **_Mark Twain _(1835 – 1910)**

**--**

Yuki growled as the phone rang irritated that it dared to interrupt his brooding, and picked it up snarling at the person on the other line, " What?!"

" Eiri-san…we've found him." Tohma's soft voice said.

" When?" Yuki breathed.

" I received a call from** Tokyo Eisei Byoin **about two hours ago Yuki. Please come."

" What street is that?" Yuki said frantically grabbing a piece of pen and paper.

" 3-17-3 Amanuma."

" I'll be there." Then Yuki hanged up.

---

Tohma closed his cell phone and looked around the waiting room, which was occupied by K, Hiro, a still healing Suguru, and Sakano. They were all waiting silently, when finally a doctor came.

" Seguchi-san, I need to talk to you."

To be Continued….

---

** Tokyo Eisei Byoin is an actual hospital in Japan and translates into Tokyo Adventist Hospital and 3-17-3 Amanuma is part of it's address.**

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	12. Death is Near

Author's Note: Sorry to all the people who want me to update faster, but real life is a pain in the ass. Like, school, work, and all sorts of other things that I have to do. But maybe I'll update again this week, that's a **_maybe _**people, I'm not promising anything.

Muhahahahaha, but Yamaguchi isn't gone yet. Oh no, he's still has something up his sleeve. Oh and **Dark-One Shadowphyre**, yeah I was thinking of Muraki from Yami no Matsuei, but I decided not to make this a crossover, although it may look like it is.

Sorry folks but this one is a little short.

Rating: R

Warnings: Sex, Rape, and Drugs, and OCC in Touma's part here.

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 12

--

" _Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver._"

**- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)**, _Antigone_

**--**

" Seguchi-san, I need to talk with you."

Tohma stood up and walked with the doctor away from the waiting room to an empty room, " What's wrong?"

The doctor sighed and took off his glasses, " Shindou-san is dying."

Touma reeled back and held his chest as his breath was taken away from him. It couldn't be true. Not Shuichi, not the person who he had finally grown to love. Shuichi couldn't be taken from him, " From what?" he croaked faintly.

The doctor shook his head slowly, " We don't know. It's an unknown drug in his system that we can't identify and treat. If there was an antidote to it, Shindou-san would need it in the next 72 hours, or else his organs will break down and he will literally be eaten from the inside out." Touma nodded and thanked the doctor and asked the doctor to leave, " I'm sorry Seguchi-san."

Touma didn't answer and kept his face down till the doctor finally was gone and when the door closed did he finally break down. He cried like he never cried before, it was all so wrong! Shuichi wasn't supposed to die like this.

" Oh gods," Touma's voice broke as he spoke and he just let the tears fall to the floor, and then did he notice that it was raining outside, " Please, don't let him die." He spoke faintly to any god that might be listening.

Ten minutes later, Touma walked out the door and then back to the waiting room to deliver the bad news to Shuichi's friends. Then he noticed that Eiri was there leaning against the wall.

" What's wrong?" Yuki said as he noticed that Touma's face was a little red.

" Shindou Shuichi is dying."

Yuki slid down the wall.

--

" _Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results._"

- **Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)**, _(attributed)_

**--**

Yamaguchi's eyes glinted dangerously as he stared at the video screen in his room, repeating the part where Shuichi had knocked him unconscious and ran. It was unconceivable that the brat would be able to do such a thing.

" He's mine." He growled out as he saw his 'little doll' on the screen naked and crying in an old tape, " He always has been."

Shuichi was fascinating to him, ever since he first saw the young boy barely thirteen and ripe for the picking. That pink hair, those violet eyes! " Oh…" Yamaguchi shuddered as he remembered his first session with his doll. He kept coming back for his doll month after month, year after year, he kept coming back. He was addicted to his little doll, ever since he heard the boy scream in pain and pleasure as he was pounding into the little boy.

Yamaguchi stood up and walked out of the room and into another that held chemicals and beaker jars. He picked up a needle and fingered it as he had forgotten to give his doll his antidote.

Then he smiled maliciously as thought of something and hurried out of the room. It was going to be a good day after all.

--

" The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."

**- Umberto Eco (1932 - )**, _Travels in Hyperreality_

**--**

Haru had met up with his friend Fuji in an American-like coffee shop and explained everything that he wanted to do.

" Let me get this straight," Fuji said, " You want to find the whereabouts of Yamaguchi, the number one psycho in Japan and kill him. It sounds pretty easy Haru, but you have to find the slippery bastard first. And you know that he's not that easy to find and kill." Fuji sipped his coffee, " I've heard rumors of this Yamaguchi though, and he supposedly got shot in the chest, and was up walking the very next day. He's not normal."

Haru sighed and nodded, " I'll admit to that Fuji."

" We could always ask our boss."

Haru nodded and looked out the window to watch the rain fall down.

--

Touma sat next to the unconscious Shuichi and held his right hand as Yuki sat on Shuichi left side, " You love him don't you Seguchi?" Yuki said as he watched Touma face.

Touma nodded and then looked up at Yuki, " And you still love him don't you?"

Yuki smiled bitterly and nodded as well.

" Like that brat would say it was 'Gravitation.'"

To Be Continued…

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	13. Borderlines of Life and Death

Author's note: Hahaha! My cable got cut and now I'm writing this because I have no internet. Gomen for not updating sooner, but the real world beckoned me to its evil ways of going to work and chores around my house. Hahaha!

I'm so pitiful without my internet. I can't even watch the news or watch adult swim on Cartoon Network anymore…not until it's reconnected…which is today (So that's why I'm writing this, understand)! So in apology I'm writing a longer chapter this time.

Ok, now I'm having an official poll, so do you guys want Shuichi to live or die?

_Think People!_

**Live**

_Or_

**Die**

Another official poll, which matters on what the first poll turns out, so now I'm really going to start counting these things, who do you want Shuichi to be with?

**Yuki Eiri**

_Or_

**Seguchi Touma**

_Or_

**Yuki Eiri _and_ Seguchi Touma**

**_You choose…_**

Muwahahahaha

Rating: R

Warnings: Severe unstable author, sex, rape, and drugs. Oh and OCC Yuki and Touma.

* * *

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 13

* * *

" It _has become abundantly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity_."

**By Albert Einstein**,** (1879 – 1955)**,(_Discovery of The Atomic Bomb) _

* * *

Yamaguchi's eyes glinted as he looked up at the vial he was holding up to the light of the moon. It was a red coloring, but it was in the color of blood red which even made it look more terrifying.

It was Shindou Shuichi's cure.

This would stop the death of the pink haired singer who was lying on his death bed right now, Yamaguchi thought as he looked past the vial and at the hospital that he was right in front of.

He wanted he little doll right now, he wanted to play with him, make him scream, and moan in pleasure and in pain. He wanted his doll to beg for him and to cry for him. Oh how he wanted so many things!

Yamaguchi glared at a window of the hospital, knowing that his doll's little protector was behind those walls and how his dolls kept crying for him to save him. It was unfair! Why does his doll cry for another when he should be crying out for him!

He's going to enjoy killing that little blonde man and ripping out his heart, he thought as he twirled the vial around in his fingers.

" Sir," A voice broke into his thoughts, " Sir, is everything alright?" Yamaguchi frowned as he saw the police officer at his side, and put his hand in his coat, and smiled maliciously as he saw no one was around.

" Actually, there is something you can help me with." Yamaguchi whipped out a knife and stabbed the man in the head so hard he broke through the skull. Instantly the police officer was dead and fell to the floor and Yamaguchi picked him up and went to an alley way.

A few minutes later he came out of the alley way wearing the police officer's clothing, and carrying his own clothes.

Everything was going his way…

* * *

" In the intermediate phase, swiftly developing complexity within the system hides the risk of imminent chaos. But the risk is there."

**Ian Malcolm**, ( 'Jurassic Park: The Lost World, the Book)

* * *

_Earlier that day…_

" Oi, boss! You here?"

" Yeah," a voice breathed sounding harsh, " What the hell do you want?" The two men Haru and Fuji came into view and sat down in front of their boss, " Well, what the hell do want?" Their boss repeated again.

" Did you hear about Shindou?" Their boss chuckled and pulled out a cigar and lit it, all the while chuckling.

" Of course I heard about that idiot. It seems that blondie didn't take that much care of him, even though I warned him about Yamaguchi. And I'm surprised that Yamaguchi even found out who Shindou was staying with," He breathed out smoke and looked in Haru's direction, " Or should I be surprised?" He asked wryly.

" He threatened my daughter." Haru stated simply.

" Did he now? Did he threaten that he was going to play with her, if he didn't get the information? Or did he say he was going to fuck you until you screamed the information or did he do something else?" He asked amused.

Haru looked like he was going kill somebody that somebody their boss, so Fuji intervened, " We didn't come to make trouble, and we just wanted to know if you knew that Shindou escaped from Yamaguchi?"

Their boss sat up and put his cigar down, " No I did not. You do know that Yamaguchi will be after him even more now right?" The two nodded, " Well then I hope you gave blondie some good references to a crematory or a cemetery then right?"

Fuji slammed his fists on the table, " God dammit Takashiro! This isn't fucking funny! We heard that Shindou is dying from some stupid chemical in body that Yamaguchi gave him. We heard that it'll eat his body from the inside out." Their boss now known as Takashiro looked away.

" That drug huh?" The two looked at him confusedly.

" You know about that drug?"

Takashiro nodded, " A long time ago, that drug was given to inmates at a prison somewhere in Siberia as a test project. Some government wanted to make it into a biochemical of warfare, but the results were too horrific, and the government abandoned the project and the facility, but not before destroying all their research, and their scientists.

Takashiro picked up his cigar again, " They killed their scientists so that they could never reveal the secrets of what they did. They made an antidote but the color of the antidote didn't even seem too good, for it was the color of blood. They called it the ' Curse of life.' Don't ask me why, but that's what they called it. Anyway, there were reports that one scientist got away with a sample of the drug and the antidote and he was lost with history. Nobody knows what happened to him."

" Do you think he's Yamaguchi?" Fuji asked.

Takashiro shrugged, " If he is. Kill him when you find him, it will be a blow to the world if that drug ever got out."

" Do you have any advice on how to find him?" Haru finally asked. Takashiro let out a breath of smoke and looked at them.

" Keep near Shindou at all times. Sleep in his room, go to the bathroom with him, and just be _near_ him like he was your own flesh and blood. I trust you Yamaguchi will be after him again. Whatever you do, don't let Yamaguchi get out of there alive." They nodded and walked out the door.

" Hey boss," Haru said poking his head back in, " How did you know about that facility in the first place?"

Takashiro looked at a picture of him and a few smiling men all wearing the same uniform except one who was wearing a white coat, " I was an officer of the security guards at the facility. We shot the scientists when we were ordered too. I lost a friend that day. He was a scientist."

Haru nodded and closed the door.

" I'm still a fool aren't I?"

* * *

"_ It amuses me to think that a body could be strong and big, but still have its life taken away by such a small thing like a needle or a bullet._"

**Excerpt from Yardat Sama's personal journal**

* * *

" Tou…ma…"

Seguchi Touma looked up sleepily into violet eyes that were staring down at him in disbelief, " Shuichi-kun! You're awake, hold on I'll go get the doctor!" Touma was about to stand up when a hand caught his wrist.

" Stay…please." Touma sat down again and took Shuichi's hand in his own.

" I was so afraid that I wouldn't see you again, Shuichi-kun," Touma breathed out softly pressing his face into hand he was holding, " I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold you again." He looked up to see the violet eyes start to cry.

" I…was so scared Touma…He did things to me…oh god! He did things…!" Shuichi broke off as he started sobbing, Touma grabbed him in a hug, and Shuichi cried as he buried his upper body into Touma's chest.

" What's going on?" Shuichi looked up to see another blonde at the doorway.

" Yuki!" He voiced out happily, despite his tears. He had never thought that he would ever see the blonde author again, " I'm so happy that you're here." He said as Yuki came nearer to the bed.

" Shuichi…" The author said softly as he sat on the other side of Shuichi and held his other hand, " I'm so sorry Shuichi!" He said brokenly as Shuichi stared in amazement at the man, " I never listened to you, I'm sorry for everything I did! I didn't even let you explain about Seguchi or anything else!"

Shuichi smiled, " Then you don't think of me as dirty or tainted?" The taller blonde shook his head.

Touma smiled at the scene but inside he was green with envy, knowing that Shuichi would rather be with the author than with him. But he put it aside and smiled at the pink haired man who in turn looked at him and smiled.

" Shuichi, why didn't you tell me before?" Yuki questioned as he looked the singer in the eye, " Why didn't you let me help you?"

" I didn't want you to think different of me Yuki. My life wasn't as you thought it was. The Shindou's aren't even my real family, and everything I am practically is a lie. I want you to love me, but," He broke off and looked at the two blondes in front of him that stared at him as talked, " But I love you both. I don't know who to choose anymore!"

Yuki and Tohma couldn't say anything as Shuichi started to cry, but then Tohma took Shuichi into his embrace and said, " Don't over stress yourself Shuichi-san, everything is going to be alright, and you don't have to decide who to love right now. Isn't that right Eiri-san?"

Yuki nodded and held Shuichi's hand again, " Everything is going to be alright, Shu-chan." Shuichi looked at them both and smiled one of his true smiles that made them smile back at him, including Yuki.

" I'm glad." Shuichi said relieved.

But then all of a sudden he started to cough and hack and bent over trying to suppress his coughs but to no avail, " Shuichi-kun! Hold on I'm going to call a doctor!" Tohma pressed the button next to Shuichi's bed and then ran out the door.

" What's…wrong with…me!" Shuichi said covering his mouth with his hands.

Yuki got Shuichi some water and when he looked at Shuichi again, he saw something that horrified him, blood was seeping out of Shuichi's hands from his mouth and large amounts of it, he ran to the doorway and roared, " WHERE THE HELL IS THE DOCTOR! WE NEED A DOCTOR!"

" Move out of the way!" He heard from down the hallway, and saw a medical team running towards him. The doctor started spouting medical terms to the nurses, and Yuki moved out of the way as they made their way in Shuichi's room.

" His body is dying isn't it?" Yuki said to no one, but was startled when a voice appeared from behind him.

" Yes, it is. He's dying because of that drug in his body. And we can't do anything about it until we find Yamaguchi."

" You don't have to worry about that." A new voice said from behind them, and they whirled around to see two men standing there.

" It's you two." Tohma said recognizing them.

" Nice meeting you again Seguchi-san, but you see you don't have to go looking for Yamaguchi, because Yamaguchi will find Shuichi. He never wants to let Shuichi go, and will be back for him. So he'll try the hospital, but Fuji and I will be keeping guard over Shindou."

Yuki glowered at them, " Seguchi told me about you guys, so why now? Why the 'good guy' act now?"

" We wanted to help Shindou, because we never had before."

" So in a way this is retribution for all the things you've done in the past." Tohma said trying to ignore the medical team still working Shuichi's room.

Haru shrugged, " To me it is, I don't speak for Fuji."

Fuji scowled, " I never liked what we did to Shindou in first place, and he was just a kid that was in a bad place at a bad time." Tohma nodded.

" Did something to Shindou?" Haru asked.

" He started large amounts of blood, five minutes ago." Yuki said sitting down on a bench in the hallway. Fuji looked down at the ground and shook his head.

" I hope Yamaguchi burns in hell for this."

Yuki snarled, " There won't be anything left of him for Kami-sama to judge after I'm done with him." A voice chuckled from behind them.

" It's nice to meet you too."

They whirled around to see a white haired man in a police officer's uniform standing there, looking very smug and with an air around him that gave them the chills.

" You!" Haru growled.

" So tell," Yamaguchi smiled, " How is my little doll?"

Yuki lunged.

To Be Continued…

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	14. Saving his life

Author's Note: Yo! Life is a pain, but it must be done. This gets in the way of writing, and other things. But as the poll is now closed, and the results are in, the conclusion is this.

Poll 1:

**_Everybody wanted Shuichi to live._**

Poll 2:

**_Yuki – _3**

**_Tohma – _3**

**_Tohma and Yuki – _7**

Most people wanted Tohma and Yuki to have Shuichi, so I will try to make a good story on that decision. But I will need your encouragement on this to see it through.

Thank You…

Rating: R or M

Warnings: Slightly unstable author who has been eating pop tarts for dinner, sex, rape and drugs.

* * *

Some Pasts are Murky and Clouded 

By Yardat Sama

Chapter 14

* * *

" _Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage._" 

**Babylonian Talmud****, _tractate Gittin_ **

* * *

Yuki lunged for the white haired man who only stepped out of range and brought out a vial of liquid that made them all stop. 

" Ah ah ahh, my dear Yuki Eiri, you don't want Shindou to die do you? Because if you try to attack me one more time, I will break Shindou Shuichi's cure and it will be your entire fault."

Yuki snarled as did Haru who stepped up to Yuki's shoulder, " What do you want asshole!" Haru snapped.

" I thought that you would know that already, Haru-kun." Yamaguchi said mockingly, " I want my little doll."

" You can't have him." Yuki snarled out.

Yamaguchi cocked his head to the side and smiled silkily like a snake, " Really? I can't?" He brought out the vial again and showed it to them, " He's dying isn't he? Coughing up blood is just the first stage." His smile then turned malicious and deadly, " do you want to know what the second stage is?" Tohma paled.

" The _second _stage, Tell us." Fuji said.

Yamaguchi was still smiling in that psychotic way, " By tomorrow morning his kidneys are going to fail, his liver and all his other vital organs. He'll still be alive, but only for four hours after they start failing." Yamaguchi closed his eyes and licked his lips while shuddering as if pleased, " It'll be glorious, to see my doll that way, truly exciting."

" You sick fuck!" Haru bit out.

Tohma's face hardened, " What do you want in exchange for the antidote Yamaguchi?" Yamaguchi smirked as he looked over the blonde.

" Maybe a fuck with you. Or how about you Yuki-_san_?" Yuki growled low in his throat like some kind of beast.

Meanwhile the doctors where trying to stabilize Shuichi and trying to stop the blood coming from his mouth. Tohma looked once into the room and the bustling nurses and doctors and then looked back at Yamaguchi. The man's eye was glinting evilly in the light of the hallway.

" What if I did agree with you Yamaguchi. Would you give Shuichi-kun the antidote?"

Yamaguchi licked his lips and walked over to stand close to Tohma, and bent forward to lick his cheek, " Your delectable, almost as good as my doll. In exchange for a good fuck, I'll give you your antidote." Tohma reeled away appalled at what the man had just done.

" What are you doing Seguchi?" Fuji questioned.

" Saving Shuichi-kun's life." Tohma said glancing in Fuji's direction, and then looked back at Yamaguchi, " Tell me what I need to do."

" If you'll come with me." Yamaguchi said waving his hand towards the exit door.

" But first you must agree to give the antidote to Shuichi-kun before the second stage." Tohma said. Yamaguchi's smirked.

" Then we better hurry then."

* * *

"_ No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear_." 

**- Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)**, _"A Philosophical Inquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful", 1756_

* * *

When Tohma stepped into the dark room, he was hit in the back making him stumble, " My aren't we clumsy." Tohma grit his teeth as he heard Yamaguchi from behind him, " Did you know blondie that my little doll stayed in this exact same room? He did you see," Yamaguchi shuddered and wrapped his arms around Tohma from behind, " He screamed as I took his sweet little body, as I pounded into him from behind." 

" I hope you die you sick of son of a whore." Tohma's head snapped to the side as Yamaguchi lowered his hand.

" I do not take kindly to you insult my mother."

Tohma was forced on to the floor, where Yamaguchi used a knife to cut all of his clothes into pieces. Tohma looked away as Yamaguchi left him naked on the floor, shivering as the cold started to seep into his body.

" Are you cold? Here let me warm you up."

Tohma screamed.

* * *

" _We all make mistakes. But it's stupid to make the same mistake twice_." 

**- Excerpt from Yardat Sama's personal Journal**

**

* * *

**

Yuki put his head down as he saw Shuichi laying there behind the glass, tubes and machines trying to keep his fragile body alive. He was such a fool.

" Are you just going to stand there?"

He looked up into the face of one Nakano Hiroshi, Shuichi's best friend. The man who still didn't know about that sick bastard Yamaguchi, " What do you want?" Yuki said.

" Why weren't we informed that Shuichi had been found?"

" We were busy, trying to keep him alive."

Hiro closed his mouth in surprise, " _Alive_? He was dying!" Yuki glared at him.

" No I said that purely for my enjoyment, you ass." Hiro growled at him, and then looked around.

" Where is Seguchi-san?"

Yuki didn't answer, but closed his eyes, and made a prayer to Buddha.

* * *

Tohma kept screaming…

* * *

To be continued… 

Sorry it was short. I'm really busy and I wanted to get this chapter out of my head, before I lost it.

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